Wednesday, April 16, 2014


I recently had a job interview for a position teaching art at a summer camp. -ed.

I'm writing a lesson plan for my eight year olds. Today we'll be discussing transgressive performance art. We'll begin by watching Paul McCarthy duct tape hotdogs onto his body. I'll point out the way he gags and sputters on mustard and we'll note the neat stripes of red that appear on his body when he rips off the tape, and yes, how he does look like a hotdog himself, covered with those condiments! Do we think this choice was intentional?
Then on the chalkboard we'll make a list of body fluids.
Does anybody need to use the bathroom?
Then I'll bring out the costume trunk and we'll see where it goes from there. One girl with sticky hands will probably pick out a Sleeping Beauty nightgown and run her hands across the slick, fire retardant fabric. And I'll say "Madison, what can we pair with the princess dress that says something about hollow traditional American values?"
She'll hesitate and glance at her shiny little shoes, then she'll look back up and mumble "crown of thorns."

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